On the home front today was pretty mellow. Yesterdays little worries have worked themself out today. Need to remember that.

Elder Monkey had his buddy over this morning. This kept both Monkeys busy until after lunch. Buddy's mom took Elder Monkey swimming. I bowed out. So it cost $5. She offered to pay but I didn't see any reason why she should. So I'm down to $17. Younger Monkey is napping. Peace and quiet!!!

Birthday party was cancelled. Poor 1 year old and family all have the stomach flu. So I don't need to worry about a gift. But I did remember that I have a $13 GC to Barnes & Noble. That is what I will use for the next necessary gift that comes up.

Tonight I think we will just have some friends over and BBQ. I may have to run to the store for some buns but that should be about it.

Elder Monkey's Teva's are starting to stink. Okay, actually they have officially hit reeking. I've tried washing them in the washing machine, I've tried soaking them in baking soda. They are hand me downs but barely worn. I really don't want to buy new sandals right now. So I took the plunge and am soaking them in bleach. If they turn gray but don't smell, I'm OK with that. He won't care. If they still stink, I've got to figure out how much I am willing to spend.

Big Rich just called to tell me that 1 of his main prospects just listed their house with a relative. Another prospect just put up a For Sale By Owner sign. So there is still a small amount of hope for them. And a deal that he has under contract is having problems with the loan coming through as promised. The last one worries me because it is a big commission. Big Rich also doesn't have much lined up at this point. I'm feeling quite worried. He is at 1/2 the income we made at this time last year. He seems to have lost his confidence or something. He's lost his mojo you might say.

This is when I start to wonder if I should continue to stay home. You can decide to penny pinch all you want, but if there is zero income, there aren't any pennies left to pinch.

If I did get a job, would I go back to helping Big Rich with the real estate business? He seems a little lost. He isn't following the plan we set up for the business. He has always been self-employed, but he has always had a partner that was a visionary. Big Rich is the brawn, but when it comes to business, he isn't the brain. He needs an administrative assistant. Someone to create systems and help him execute them. I could easily do it, I would probably even enjoy it. But Younger Monkey would need daycare. That would be around $600 month. Would me being there helping him net us at least $600 month extra? I would think so but you just never know. It would be tax deductible. What about Younger Monkey? How do I feel about putting him in daycare? I had Elder Monkey in daycare and had a horrible experience. But Elder Monkey is a very spirited child, where as Younger Monkey is pretty chill most of the time. He would go to the same place he attends pre-school and summer camp. He really loves to go. And I would only work M-Th from 8 until 3 so I could be home when Elder Monkey gets out of school. But I really think I would miss him and all the fun stuff we do during the day. I'm already sad that Elder Monkey will be gone all day starting this Fall.

Would the house fall apart? It's hard to work and do all the at home stuff as well. Big Rich isn't great about helping around the house. We are set up pretty traditionally around here. But we could always renegotiate. Would I feel sad about not being home? I think so. Would our marraige suffer? I don't think so. We worked together some of last year and both seemed to enjoy it. It gave us back some grown-up time that we don't get enough of these days.

Or should I get a job that actually pays me? But what? I have an English degree. My only corporate experience was as a software licensing auditor. I did that for 5 years and it sucked my soul right out of me. Great benefits, awesome pay, zero personal reward. So I quit when Younger Monkey was born. Do I get an entry level position somewhere that has benefits? That would save us a grundle in insurance costs. Or do I find a retail job that is kind of fun, but still pays me money? Then I have to worry about shifts and covering them for vacations, worrying if one of the kids gets sick, etc. I just can't see myself going back to work for someone. But the issue is WE NEED MONEY.

Or do I just continue to stay home, cut costs, and hope that Big Rich gets his mojo back? If I am going to get Younger Monkey in dayare, I better get him signed up now because they really fill up fast. Ugh. I hate making decisions. I'm much more of a go with the flow kind of person.