I've tried blogging elsewhere but I can't get my pictures to upload so I'm back.
Keeping track of spending daily is my new goal.
Yesterday: $187.06 at Costco for groceries. Really stocked up so we have the basics for meals at home.
I've promised Big Rich that I will actually balance the check book each month. I haven't been doing that for a LONG while now. Gotta get my Quicken up and running again.
The money situation is really looking up. Big Rich really killed it this month. I'm not sure why it all came now, but I'll take it!
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I've tried blogging elsewhere but I can't get my pictures to upload so I'm back.
I've decided I need more nature in my life. Yesterday I took the Monkeys and Pepe for a short hike in the canyon next to our home. It was beautiful and really fun. Elder Monkey was complaining before we left. It would be hot, he'd rather go to an amusement park (he's rebelling against me telling him we were going to focus on "free" fun stuff for the next little while). We drove all the way to the top and took about a 3 mile hike (fairly easy). Pepe was in heaven. All the wildflowers were in bloom and the creek wasn't too swift so he could run and play in it. At the bottom there is a place where the creek pools, we spent a long time splashing around in the river. It was a really nice way to spend the afternoon.
I realized that I am literally surrounded by such incredible opportunities to spend time in nature. After I spend time in the great outdoors I feel so peaceful and refreshed. I've decided it is time to make spending time in nature a high priority for me and my kids. For the most part it is free and it is such quality time.
One of my ongoing goals is feel peaceful as much as possible. I've always known that a routine or schedule can keep life peaceful. I've been a member of FlyLady for more than 6 years, but I still can't seem to attain the peace she seems to have.
This morning I had an epiphany of sorts. It is probably common sense to most people, but it really hit home today. You can change just one thing, and it ripples out to change so many other things.
My one thing is getting up early and getting the dog and myself out for a walk or run. He is happy and content for the rest of the morning. I feel a sense of accomplishment for getting my exercise done for the day. I also have a sense of gratitude because where I live is so incredibly beautiful and I get to enjoy it first thing in the morning. A sense of gratitude envelopes my day. I shower earlier, have a good breakfast, read the paper all before the kids get up. Since the dog is mellow, he doesn't pester the kids all morning which leaves them in a better mood as well. We get our chores done earlier and happier as well. Because our morning goes well, the rest of the day goes better too.
This is the one thing I am really going to focus on. When I've mastered it, then I will figure out what the next One Thing should be.
What an incredible week. We spent the week at my folks place at Bear Lake. My sibs + families also came (except my littlest sis, who lives in Philly. She + spouse will be home on the 24th for 2 weeks. She's in dental school and doesn't have much time off at this point). Big Rich doesn't come up often because he works most weekends. It was great to have him there.
There are times in life where time goes at just the right pace, not too fast and not too slow. I think these times are linked to being close to nature. I've decided that I am happiest when I am on some sort of beach. It is truly when I feel at home. The water, the wind, the sand in my toes. I love it.
I'm sure it is mostly because my folks bought the place when I was four and we went there every weekend during the summer when I was a child.
But some other reasons are: there is usually a group of people surrounding me that I really enjoy spending time with. I love spending time with my sibs and their kids. The cousins all play for hours and hours up there without any battles. The beach is so vast, the water is so shallow, there are so many children, we have just the right toys. I've noticed the kids are never bored. There are endless variations to keep them busy. It also helps that there are so many eyes keeping track of all the kids. It gives me a little much needed rest and relaxation.
Another reason is I get away from the mundane things in life. We have a TV, but no reception. So we only spend time watching movies that we all want to see. Until very recently there was no phone. Even with one, the calls are few and far between. My cell phone won't get reception. There is no computer. I'm amazed at how many hours I spend in front of this box. I get a chance to rethink that while I'm gone. Basically there is no media, which I find refreshing. I think I am going to cut most media out of my life. It just isn't healthy for me. I spend lots of time reading, which is my heaven. I LOVE to read. There are no stores. The nearest town is 24 miles away on a dirt road. And it isn't any place you would go just for fun. So I generally don't spend any money while I'm there.
Which leads me to my main point, it is amazing how abundant life can feel when you are living simply. Why isn't I feel more blessed and peaceful when my immediate family is living in one small bedroom, and my entire family is living in a small cottage? Why are my kids so busy with the few toys that we keep there? Why do the simple family meals taste the best? Why do we sleep so soundly? It is because we are interacting with each other, talking, doing things together. I enjoy my kids so much more up there. There is no hurry to do anything, be anywhere. We can just be.
Today I took the Monkeys to the zoo. We have a seasons pass so it was paid for 9 months ago. We ate before we left and I told them I would buy them a popsicle there. The food is incredibly over-priced. We went through the new tiger exhibit, then the reptile house, went to the bird show, had our treat, went on the train and played at the playground. Sounds fun right?
The entire time my eldest Monkey complained that I wouldn't buy more treats, wouldn't go to the gift shop, etc. "Why do all the other kids get a hat, cotton candy, toy?" Really got the best of me. Even at the Bird Show, he was upset because people that were selected out of the audience to participate were given gift certificates for free ice cream from the sponser. He was freaking out that he never got chosen. Finally I lost it. I turned into "Mean Mommy" and lectured all the way home about gratitude and enjoying what we have, not what we don't have, living in the moment, spending time together is the important thing, yada yada yada, the fun is in the experience not in the stuff.
He replied that he has fun at Bear Lake. And we both realized it is because there is nothing to buy there. He can relax because he isn't being inundated with messages to buy, buy, buy. I find it incredibly sad that my 6 year old finds enjoying life hard because of the media machine. It just doesn't seem right. Even educational experiences aren't free from advertising.
So I am on a mission to simply our lives so that we can feel the same sense of peace at home that we do at Bear Lake. TV must be limited further. I'm going to be stricter about making sure that chores are done and allowances are only paid if the work is done. Toys and treats must be earned or paid for with their money. Eldest Monkey really needs to lose his sense of entitlement. Paid activities will be fewer and farther between. The Monkeys have enough stuff around here to entertain themselves and each other. They don't need me running around town every day to keep them occupied and entertained.
It is time to reclaim our contentment. Life is about peace, joy and love. Anything else is no longer welcome at my house!!
enough rambling for today.
It is hot! In the upper 90's all week. Decided to take the Monkey's swimming today. It was really fun, but we spent too much money due to lack of responsibility and planning. I didn't have any cash, but I knew the pool accepts checks to get it. So I decided not to take my whole purse, just my wallet as we headed out the door. What I forgot is that I put my driver's license and ATM card in a pocket of my purse.
We got in fine with a check, but Elder Monkey realized he didn't have his goggles. Is that his fault or mine? Chlorine really burns his eyes, so I paid for another pair of goggles at $6, so to get in and goggles was $18. That is 3 pairs so far this summer.
Then we find out that the food court doesn't accept anything but cash for non-members. So we borrowed some money from my sister. What I should have done was pack a lunch, but I didn't quite get it done before we headed out the door. Another $8. Kind of an expensive swimming trip.
I read an article this week about how one mom sets up gear for her kids for summer. Each kid gets one swimsuit, one towel, one pair of goggles, and one pair of flip flops each summer. If they are lost or ruined, the kids get to replace them if they want to. She also gives them each a mesh bag to keep their stuff in. It is their responsibility to gather the stuff, make sure it gets to and from the pool, and hang it up to dry when they get home. It is laundered once a week. I think I am going to implement this with my Monkeys. Elder Monkey is definitely old enough to do this. Then I can worry about sunscreen and lunch or snacks.
Big Rich has been out of town until last night. Poor Pepe le Chew hasn't had nearly enough walks. He is acting like a raving lunatic. Right now he is racing around and around the house. I read that a dog really need about 1 1/2 hours of walks every day. Ideally an hour in the morning and a 1/2 hour in the evening. I'm fine with that most days, but I'm also training for a 1/2 marathon. He is too young to run and I am having a hard time fitting in all the activity for both myself and the dog. It's just too hot to go out between the hours of 10 am and 7 pm. But, where there's a will there's a way. I will get it figured out.
I haven't found a replacement for
Big Rich's car console. I may just see if I can have it reupholstered somewhere. Or maybe my dad would be willing to do it for me. Big Rich was surprising cool about it. He even decided today that he actually does really does like the dog (who is currently trying to eat the computer wires).
Big Rich gave me a check today for the monthly expenses. I don't want to deposit it until the 1st of the month because I was to start again fresh this month. I royally botched my $100 challenge. I'm going to try again in July, with some slight modifications. I'm not going to include gas. It just eats up too much of my $100. So I am budgeting gas seperately. $100 will go to everything else during the week, gifts, entertainment, clothes, fees, activites and groceries. I think I can do it.
Actually Pepe chewed the console in Big Rich's car, which happens to be the car he drives clients around in. Yikes! It's just the lid. Big Rich is out of town until tomorrow evening. I intend to have it fixed by then. My dad is a very handy man and fixes up cars to sell as a hobby so he is going to call a few junk yards tomorrow to see what he can find. If not we will try our hand at reupholstering it ourselves. I plan to tell Big Rich, I just want it to be fixed before I do! I hope it isnt' too expensive. I knew the dog would chew, I just didn't think it would be the car!
Spent the weekend with the Monkeys at Bear Lake again while Big Rich is out of town on business. We had a great time. Played on the beach. Let Elder Monkey drive me around on the ATV. Made s'mores. I forget how incredibly delicious those are. A nice weekend all the way around.
Elder Monkey however is driving me crazy. He is going through a whining and complaining phase. It makes me want to quit doing anything remotely "extra" for him, so he will understand that his life really isn't so bad. That would be great for my budget but terrible for my sanity!
I bought Jesse's budget spreadsheet today. I'm really excited about it. I will write about how it is working in the future.
Big Rich and I only fight about 2 things: money and The Monkeys. Unfortunately that makes up a pretty big chunk of our life right now.
I'm feeling a little under appreciated because I have worked my behind of this month to save us money. I don't drive if I don't have to, I've made 95% of our meals at home, I haven't taken my kids to many activites that cost money, I have made them buy any new toys with their allowance. It has been a pretty big lifestyle change for me and The Monkeys. So I know I'm a little defensive about it because I've tried really hard. But Big Rich feels the need to ask about every damn expense. I know it is because we are trying to pay down our debt. I get why he is all of a sudden so interested. It just bugs that for the past 10 years it has been my responsibility, and I think I've done a darn fine job. I don't nag him to make more money. They are the dumbest fights because we are actually on the same page, we just vent on each other.
I am determined to get out of debt just to stop money fights. They are pointless.
The Monkeys? I'm stuck with those "disagreements" for at least another 15 years.
That is the name of our new puppy. How did we decide this name? Well, funny you should ask. About a month ago we were throwing a fairly large BBQ party and I decided we needed margaritas. I went to buy tequila, which I haven't purchased in a long time and was dying at the price of a large bottle. So I rationalized that cheap tequila mixed in a drink was ok and I purchased a very large bottle of Pepe Lopez. The fact that the bottle was plastic should have been a huge tip off. Anyway, the evening went buy and nobody really wanted margaritas. Pretty soon it was just a few of us left and I had had a few glasses of wine and against my better judgement, let myself be talked into 2 shots of our fine tequila. I lived to regret it. Just barely.
Against my better judgement. Which is how my husband feels about getting a puppy.
The Monkeys just think it is fun to say.
But he is truly a sweet heart. He is 3 1/2 months. A black lab/australian shepard mix. He looks lab except has a white stripe down the belly. He has barely barked or even whined. He slept the entire night without a peep. They said he wasn't housetrained but he hasn't had a single accident. And he isn't all that nippy. But he sure has a lot of energy. And he loves to cuddle. I think he will make a great dog.
The shelter cancelled their adoption event at the pet store yesterday. I called on the dog I am most interested in but haven't been able to get a hold of the adoption coordinator. I will try again tomorrow. I'm really very puppy hungry!
We had a fun weekend. Went to a BBQ last night. I love just hanging out with friends and their families. It is definitely my preferred evening entertainment.
This morning Big Rich went golfing with his dad and brothers. The Monkeys and I slept way late then chilled around the house until Big Rich got home. We went swimming at his dad's pool for the day. We had dinner at my folk's with my siblings.
I just took a nice evening stroll, watched the sun go down.
All in all a very pleasant day.
Our dog died in April. We went to Costa Rica for a few weeks and our 9 year old sweetie hopped Big Rich's brother's fence and took a stroll on one of the busiest streets in the area. Amazingly she got pretty far before the end came. She never was very street smart.
Of course we've been sad. We had her 2 years before we had Elder Monkey. She's always just been part of the family. The Monkey's were soooo sad. Elder Monkey cried so hard I thought my heart would seriously break. Younger Monkey can't quite understand it. He just says "She died. She crash car and got brokie. Daddy can't fix her. We need a white puppy. 2 puppies" But Big Rich seems to think that we need to mourn for an extended period of time or we didn't really love her. But I just miss having a dog around.
So I checked online at all the adoption agencies in the area. I have been telling him we all want a dog. We won't be waiting long. Since I'm home I'm even willing to be the one in charge of feeding and cleaning the dog. I'm going to go check out dogs tomorrow.
I can't decide if I want a little puppy, or if I'd rather go with a young dog of a year or so. The Monkeys want a puppy. I do love puppies. But a slightly older dog will most likely have already been fixed and had shots. And I'd like a ready to go running partner. And who can forget the not having to house train and puppy proof the house part. I really wouldn't miss chewed up shoes and toys.
I had the twisted idea of giving Big Rich a dog for Father's day buy decided that would just be too mean. So we got him a heart rate monitor instead.
Am I crazy? Everyone seems to think I must be to jump back into an animal so quickly. But I've always said I would have at least one pet. I'm just an pet person.
I think sometimes you have to spend a little to save a lot.
I bought a hot air popcorn popper today. It was $15 and for 2 lbs. of popcorn it was another $2. We go through so much microwave popcorn! We will honestly recoup the invenstment in less than 3 months.
I also spent $8 to buy the Not Just Beans cookbook. In the week that I have had it from the library I have used the simple, from scratch recipes 6 times saving me the inflated cost of items such as frosting, cookies, and pizza. I must also factor in the impulse items I did not buy from not making extra trips to the store.
Which leads me to the next way I am going to try to save more-stocking up on sales. So far this summer we have gone to or hosted a BBQ at least once a week. I am going to start stocking up when the stores have sales on things we cook and take regularly. Also on the meals we often choose to cook at Bear Lake.
I was also thinking about my Costco membership. As much milk as my Monkey's drink, I am pretty insistent on organic milk. Costco has organic milk so much cheaper than anywhere else. I save my membership just in milk within 6 months. Nevermind the savings on bananas, eggs, cheese, organic lettuce mix, spinach and diapers.
Another great example is going to the dentist regularly. Because Big Rich is self-employed and I stay home, we don't have dental insurance. Our agreement was to take the kids every six months and go ourselves every year. Well, one year leads to another and we hadn't been in 3 years. As a result, Big Rich has one cavity, I have 2 and Elder Monkey had one. Big Rich also needs a root canal. We are looking at about $1200 in dental work. I am sure the cost of regular dental visits over time pays by eliminating expensive dental work.
I'm sure there are lots of other ways to save money by investing a little up front. I'm trying to keep this in mind when I go over the $100 I have budgeted each week for spending. I may give myself a little more wiggle room to try to "snowball" my savings, even if I go over budget some weeks. According to Amy D, it will bring my monthly spending down in the long run.
Big Rich's mom is in town. She took the boys to see Cars today. Popcorn, drinks, the works. Then a trip to the toy store. Grandparents are so great! Tomorrow she is taking them to the park.
Because his mother and her boyfriend are in town, we invited the whole family over for dinner. Yesterday I was going to do hamburgers for Elder Monkey with watermelon and pasta salad. Big Rich took the propane to get filled last night then to work for a work party today. So I couldn't grill last night. We had pancakes instead. So for the family we decided to grill the burgers. I had bought garlic burgers but I didn't think I had enough so I went and bought more today. Turns out I would have had enough in the first place. I always over estimate. I want to make sure there is plenty for everyone I guess. So I have leftovers of everything. I guess we will have all of it again on Thursday, so it isn't really a waste. It was pretty good, I don't mind.
I have been on a baking kick. I get bored and bake. Good for the food budget, not so good for the waist line. I was supposed to run tonight but had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and had no desire to run.
I've got a half marathon in September I am supposed to start training for this week. It is the Disney 1/2 marathon at Disneyland. We booked a whole Disney trip around it, which is mostly paid for. I better get training or Big Rich will be ticked I talked him into going. Not only did I talk him into it, but I talked my folks into coming. And I convinced my sister in law to run it with me so my brother and his kids are all coming too. I better be ready!
I had a busy but wonderful weekend.
Friday I went for my job interview. They need someone to commit at least 25 hours a week. Not gonna happen so I said "thank you" and left. Actually felt relieved. I don't think I really want a job even though I can see many of the benefits. I'm going to hold out and try to stay at home as long as I can. I'm sure I will find ways to keep myself busy while the Monkeys are away. I will find my groove.
Friday evening the Monkeys and I went up to my parents cabin at Bear Lake. My sister's family and my brother's family and my parents all came. My parent's bought the place when I was 4 so I have been going there for my whole life. My kids LOVE to go up there. I try to make it at least every other weekend and usually stay a week over the 4th of July.
I'm trying to figure out ways to make it more frugal. We always stop for dinner on the way. I'm responsible for meals, the number of which depends on the length of the stay. Everyone pitches in for snacks and drinks. And there is the gas. Sometimes if Big Rich isn't going I try to tagalong with my parents. But this weekend I needed to be home by a certain time on Sunday so I drove the Subaru.
Even if it isn't frugal, it is wonderful. Bear Lake is an enormous, aqua blue lake with mountains surrounding it. We have a beach that is soft sand. The lake is cold but our beach is shallow for a long ways before it drops off, so the water warms up a bit where the kids play. My dad is a toy lover so there are wave runners, ATVs, a boat, a dune buggy, a tractor as well as tons of beach toys and other various things he likes to pick up to keep the grand kiddies entertained.
My kids wait all winter to go and when we do they don't want to come home. I've decided that it is probably one of the only places where they feel totally free. There are lots of other kids to play with. They can run around between the cabins and make up all kinds of games. We spend hours on end at the beach where they play in the sand and water. It is great for me because they are totally enthralled and happy. I just get to sit back and read a book or talk with people. I'm so lucky to have parents who sacrificed when I was a kid to afford a place for our family to be together.
Sunday the Monkeys spent half the day with Big Rich's mom who is in town this week. We drove to another town to look at some property we are considering going in with 3 other couples on. It was really beautiful. I don't know if we are going to do it, but it is really pretty.
Last night we went to a baby shower for my best friend from high school. I was nervous about my present being "enough". I got her 6 little board books, a blankie and an outfit. Both she and her husband seemed really excited about all the books. So I feel good about the gift. I've had some trouble with this particular friend but I'd like it to all be water under the bridge. We will most likely never be best friends again, but I'd like to see her more often than 3-4 times a year.
Today is errand day. I did a little grocery shopping, made a pasta salad to go with the hamburgers Elder Monkey requested for dinner tonight. He also wanted a chocolate cake. I had a mix so I made it and now that it is cooled I need to whip up a batch of chocolate frosting. I have never made frosting from scratch but the recipe looks so easy. I'm getting such a kick from making things from scratch. It is just so much easier than I thought.
Today the Monkeys had Summer Camp so I set out to entertain myself. I spent at least an hour on the freebies forum signing up for free stuff. Then I decided to try making buns for crock pot pork roast sandwiches for dinner. They turned out OK. They didn't rise as high as I would have liked, but I did add a fair amount of whole wheat flour which surely made them more dense. They tasted good though. Big Rich thinks I must have bumped my head or something. I have done more cooking lately than I have for years.
On a whim I decided to apply for a job at one of the large warehouse clubs that I do a fair amount of shopping at. I know the cashiers make good money. I figure I could work one or two shifts a week and make some extra money to put straight on the credit card debt. They called me for an interview within a few hours! So I have an interview tomorrow. I'm a little nervous! Do I want to work? Even a few hours? I guess I will just lay out my needs, two shifts during the time my kids are at Summer Camp. Then maybe a little more during the school year. If that doesn't work, then it doesn't work. No loss right?
I do wonder how it would affect Younger Monkey. He had a hard time at Summer Camp today. After lunch he cried and said he wanted to come home to see me. He has never done that before. But there are a lot of changes. He has one of his pre-school teachers for a camp teacher, but only one of the same kids in the group. It is also a different classroom and he is there for twice as long. I think he will get used it and then really like it. But part of me wonders if I should wait another year. Or 3.
I also think Big Rich's pride was hurt a little even though he agreed the extra money would be really nice to have to put on the our debt. We have two months worth of expenses saved, and I'm sure we will have more business long before that runs out, but I would like to be further ahead. It's not like the little bit that I would be making would really help with the major expenses anyway, but every little bit off the debt would really help. He just kept asking if I really wanted to work. And he wondered what would my parents think? My mom always stayed home while we were young so my dad is sure that it is the only right way to raise kids and has said so. But I worked until Elder Monkey was 3. All that really matters is what Big Rich and I think is the right thing to do.
I'll just go and see what happens.
My Monkeys went to visit their grandma for a few hours this afternoon. I forgot fish filters on my list of things we needed this week. I broke my first rule and decided not to wait until next week. The fish tank is starting to stink. So I went to Wally World. I figured I could also get a cute basket to put the books I bought for my friend's shower in. Well, one thing led to another and I spent $82. That is what I hate about super centers. It is just too easy to impulse purchase. I will say that most of what I bought was practical. I bought quite a bit of food so I can do more cooking from scratch. I also got band aids, pull-ups, wipes and some cold medicine. Elder Monkey and I have a head cold coming on. But there were a few things that I just plain wanted, like a vase for my entry table and a running skirt.
I can make excuses, but the truth is I'm bummed I didn't stick to my challenge. I have to ask why? At first I was thinking that I have the typical American affluenza and shop for recreation. Part of this may be true. But the truth is, I have had little kids shopping with me for 6 years now. When I have a chance to go to the store without the Monkeys, well, it feels like a luxury. So I think I shop when they are busy out of a sense of entitlement almost. I CAN shop (peacefully), therefore I MUST! And some of it is boredom. I just don't know what to do with myself when they are out of the house. I had already cleaned the house and steam cleaned the carpets. This may be part of the reason I am considering going back to work. With Elder Monkey in school all day and Younger Monkey in pre-school 3 mornings a week, I'm a little worried that I might get bored. I'm not sure what to do with myself. I need a hobby. I don't know what though. If I'm going to stay home, I definitely need to figure out ways to fill my time because I can't afford to shop whenever I am bored. I guess I could always actually use the gym membership I'm paying for. Once a Month cooking? Volunteer! Really, like Mom always said, "Bored people are boring".
So in an effort to organize my life and reduce our spending I am limiting my errands to one day a week, Mondays, which happens to be the day I pay myself. But now I feel like I have too much time on my hands!
All my errands were run yesterday while the Monkeys were at Summer Camp. Very peaceful. I went to the library (did not pay my fine of $7.20), then went to Barnes & Noble to buy my shower gift. I used up two GC. I can't believe how expensive books for kids are! I bought 5 little board books and it came to $37. Unbelievable. All our books have been hand me downs and gifts for the most part. Anyway, it will make a nice gift that I am excited about giving. The mom is a librarian, so I think she will appreciate it.
Then I went to Costco for our bread and produce plus some chips and dip to take to my book club, and bought a Costco Cash card for gas later in the week (I was driving Big Rich's car to save on gas).
I had to go to the regular store because Elder Monkey gets to pick what we have for dinner once a week and he requested tacos.
So I have $21 for the rest of the week.
I realized I spent $10 on the chips and dip for book club. I always volunteer for food. I think I may quit volunteering for a little bit. Save myself some money and give some other people a chance to pitch in.
Today we slept pretty late, then did our chores. On Tuesdays we have a play group that we go to. It was my week to pick so I just decided to have a pack your own lunch to the park day. It was okay, a little hot. It is 94 degrees today. Something with water might have been a better choice. But it was free and the kids seemed happy with it.
Now we are home and our chores are done and we have no errands to run and no money to go do something. I'm a little low on creativity today so the kids are watching PBS. Now that I'm fairly organized with my time and not spending money, I'm going to have to come up with things to do during the heat of the day. I'd bake a treat but it is just TOO HOT!
For dinner I am going to try making homemade pizza tonight from the dough recipe in the TWG #2. I hope it turns out OK. That and salad and we should be set.
I got a book from the library called Not Just Beans that has a scratch recipe for almost everything you would ever buy at the store. I think I may see if I can buy it from half.com. Definitely an investment purchase.
Today did not turn out as planned!
The family we were going to go to the amusement park with called pretty early. The dad had gone mountain biking early and crashed. They were headed to the ER because he thought he'd broken his ankle. Later we found out he broke it in 3 places! Ouch!
So we talked as a family and decided to go swim and Big Rich's dad's pool. But as the morning went on, Big Rich and I both started to feel really quesy. I had a fever and body aches and felt like I needed to throw up. So my sweet husband took the Monkeys swimming and I slept all afternoon. Now I feel pretty good and he has gone to bed. I really appreciate him doing that for me, especially knowing he didn't feel 100% either. And they ate there so I didn't have to worry about dinner. Love that!
So at the end of the week I have $5 left over from my challenge! I am going to put that on the credit card tomorrow when I go to the bank to get the week's money.
Monkey's have summer camp from 10-4. I honestly don't know what I am going to do with myself all day tomorrow. It is errand day so I will de-clutter and take a load to the charity store, go to the bank, go to the grocery store, and buy a present for the baby shower I have this weekend, and go to the library. So I should manage to stay pretty busy.
So this baby shower is for someone who once was my best friend through high school and college. But the last 3 years we have barely seen each other. Our lives just became so different. Also I think both of us harbor some resentments from dumb inconsiderate things done a long time ago. Anyway, I really don't know how much I should spend on a gift. When I had my first Monkey, we were still good friends and she spend quite a lot on the baby and gave me a GC to a spa for a massage. Now just aren't close. Do I spend a lot because we used to be friends and because she did? There are so many hidden messages and unspoken rules in gift giving sometimes. I hate it.
A nicely boring day at home. Did some cleaning and some yard work. Monkeys ran through the Sponge Bob sprinklers our neighbors gave us.
Tonight we are going to a graduation party for a friend that finished her MBA. Dinner and drinks provided. Love that. But we have close friends going out tonight for a birthday. I'd really rather do that but we don't have a babysitter or the extra cash.
Big Rich put $15 on the debit yesterday for beer. Knew that would happen.
Tomorrow we are going to the amusement park. This has been planned for a long time, before I decided to challenge myself. I don't see how we can get out of there for less than $150. I'm trying to decide how frugal I want to be. Pack a lunch? Eat before we go? It's all just crap and sooo expensive. But I guess it is all part of the experience. Not sure what we'll do. I'll run it by Big Rich and see what he thinks. I know the family we are going with will buy all sorts of crap and do games which makes it hard to tell our Monkey's we aren't spending money on those things.
I'm starting to realize how much pressure there is to spend all the time.
On the home front today was pretty mellow. Yesterdays little worries have worked themself out today. Need to remember that.
Elder Monkey had his buddy over this morning. This kept both Monkeys busy until after lunch. Buddy's mom took Elder Monkey swimming. I bowed out. So it cost $5. She offered to pay but I didn't see any reason why she should. So I'm down to $17. Younger Monkey is napping. Peace and quiet!!!
Birthday party was cancelled. Poor 1 year old and family all have the stomach flu. So I don't need to worry about a gift. But I did remember that I have a $13 GC to Barnes & Noble. That is what I will use for the next necessary gift that comes up.
Tonight I think we will just have some friends over and BBQ. I may have to run to the store for some buns but that should be about it.
Elder Monkey's Teva's are starting to stink. Okay, actually they have officially hit reeking. I've tried washing them in the washing machine, I've tried soaking them in baking soda. They are hand me downs but barely worn. I really don't want to buy new sandals right now. So I took the plunge and am soaking them in bleach. If they turn gray but don't smell, I'm OK with that. He won't care. If they still stink, I've got to figure out how much I am willing to spend.
Big Rich just called to tell me that 1 of his main prospects just listed their house with a relative. Another prospect just put up a For Sale By Owner sign. So there is still a small amount of hope for them. And a deal that he has under contract is having problems with the loan coming through as promised. The last one worries me because it is a big commission. Big Rich also doesn't have much lined up at this point. I'm feeling quite worried. He is at 1/2 the income we made at this time last year. He seems to have lost his confidence or something. He's lost his mojo you might say.
This is when I start to wonder if I should continue to stay home. You can decide to penny pinch all you want, but if there is zero income, there aren't any pennies left to pinch.
If I did get a job, would I go back to helping Big Rich with the real estate business? He seems a little lost. He isn't following the plan we set up for the business. He has always been self-employed, but he has always had a partner that was a visionary. Big Rich is the brawn, but when it comes to business, he isn't the brain. He needs an administrative assistant. Someone to create systems and help him execute them. I could easily do it, I would probably even enjoy it. But Younger Monkey would need daycare. That would be around $600 month. Would me being there helping him net us at least $600 month extra? I would think so but you just never know. It would be tax deductible. What about Younger Monkey? How do I feel about putting him in daycare? I had Elder Monkey in daycare and had a horrible experience. But Elder Monkey is a very spirited child, where as Younger Monkey is pretty chill most of the time. He would go to the same place he attends pre-school and summer camp. He really loves to go. And I would only work M-Th from 8 until 3 so I could be home when Elder Monkey gets out of school. But I really think I would miss him and all the fun stuff we do during the day. I'm already sad that Elder Monkey will be gone all day starting this Fall.
Would the house fall apart? It's hard to work and do all the at home stuff as well. Big Rich isn't great about helping around the house. We are set up pretty traditionally around here. But we could always renegotiate. Would I feel sad about not being home? I think so. Would our marraige suffer? I don't think so. We worked together some of last year and both seemed to enjoy it. It gave us back some grown-up time that we don't get enough of these days.
Or should I get a job that actually pays me? But what? I have an English degree. My only corporate experience was as a software licensing auditor. I did that for 5 years and it sucked my soul right out of me. Great benefits, awesome pay, zero personal reward. So I quit when Younger Monkey was born. Do I get an entry level position somewhere that has benefits? That would save us a grundle in insurance costs. Or do I find a retail job that is kind of fun, but still pays me money? Then I have to worry about shifts and covering them for vacations, worrying if one of the kids gets sick, etc. I just can't see myself going back to work for someone. But the issue is WE NEED MONEY.
Or do I just continue to stay home, cut costs, and hope that Big Rich gets his mojo back? If I am going to get Younger Monkey in dayare, I better get him signed up now because they really fill up fast. Ugh. I hate making decisions. I'm much more of a go with the flow kind of person.
OK so I already posted today but that was just my intro. Here is my thoughts about today's goings ons.
So today was frugal and fun. Eldest Monkey had his last day of Kindergarten today. It was field day and the school rented all the big blow up slides and bounce house stuff. There was cotton candy and snow cones. He had a great time. I love our school. They always do such a great job! So he was in a good mood when I picked him up. Glad this year is OVER!!
Youngest Monkey has been wanting to ride on our city's TRAX train system for awhile. Everytime we are downtown he begs to ride on it. So my sister told me that she was headed downtown to pick-up her 1/2 marathon race entry for this weekend with her 2 little she monkeys. No, I am not racing, because of this bloody muscle strain in my calf! And right after I bought new shoes to prevent injury!! Anywho... We decided to make an activity of it because they usually have a "fair" type area where they give away a lot of free crap for advertising and sponsering the race. Oldest Monkey LOVES getting free stuff so I figured it would make both monkeys happy. So for the cost of two TRAX fares, $3 (youngest monkey was free), we got to take the train downtown, walk past a bunch of interesting street art, and check out the booths. I gave Eldest Monkey the goody bag and let him go to town. I should have skipped lunch (made at home!!) because they loaded up with Boca Burgers and nuggets, chocolate milk, OJ, jelly beans, candy, snickers endurance bars, etc. Then we rode home. All in all it took us about 2 1/2 hours and they were pretty happy. I need to remember that with the right fanfare, almost anything can be fun to kids.
Dinner was a simple meal of bean and cheese burritos, diced fresh tomatoes and milk. Big Rich and I finished off the last two ice cold beers. Eldest Monkey decided that, oh my gosh! he really does like refried beans! Brainwashing is effective!
Eldest Monkey wants us to go swimming with his good buddy and his family tomorrow. It's a great time, but it costs us about $12 each time we go. Also I have not had the money to wax my legs and bikini and I HATE shaving!! Very course hair, it isn't pretty. And I only have $21 left for the week and I need to buy a birthday present for a friend's baby's 1st birthday party on Saturday. How expensive does this gift need to be? Can I get away with a cute $5 book? I hate gift giving when I'm not sure what is expected. I also hate the idea of not going swimming just to save money. And then there is the dilemma of ethics. My dear sweet sister has a membership to the swim complex we go to often. Years ago she babysat Eldest Monkey when I worked and took him swimming several times. The office assumed he was hers and added his name to the membership. My sister is a highly religious person, so I am always a bit surprised at how willing she is to be a little dishonest at times. Love her dearly though. So I could save $4 if I let him go in with her. But I feel like it is dishonest. It is dishonest. Is it worth $4? Normally I would just pay but I've never been down to $21 with so much left to pay for. Oh, the difficulty of living within my means! Of course my integrity is not worth $4! But it does make you go hmmm....
Today starts the beginning of an experiment. I just finished reading Judith Levine's book Not Buying It. So interesting. It made me want to try something similar, but with 2 kids I figured I would have to modify it a bit. So instead of deciding not to buy anything non-essential for a year, I have decided to limit our spending to $100 each week until the end of Summer. I will re-evaluate then.
$100 includes groceries, clothes, activities, fees, entertainment, recreation and anything else that is outside our fixed monthly expenditures.
I really want to spend consciously. I want to think through what to buy and why instead of spending out of habit or because of other people's expectations. I want to have to plan to make it all work, kind of like a puzzle.
To make it interesting I gave DH, to be known as Big Rich, all my credit cards and my debit card. To get money I will have to go into the bank. I took everything but my Driver's License and health insurance card out of my wallet. Including my check book. The rational behind that is to think through my daily adventures. Plan. If I am going to the library I will need to retrieve my library card, etc. With gas prices the way they are, and driving the Beast (my 1995 Big block Chevy Suburban, paid for) I can't afford to waste any gas.
I have informed the Monkey's (my 2 boys) that we are trying an experiment. We are not poor, we just want to see if we can spend our money smarter. The elder Monkey is really starting to understand money and is quite interested in how it all works. A perfect time to teach him a real life lesson on value. There will not be many treats, there will not be toy purchases unless they are working toward a prize (eldest Monkey needs to quit coming into our room at night, youngest Monkey needs to potty train). There will more activities of the FREE variety and fewer of the COSTS variety. They seem to get it, we will see. The amazing thing is how many free activities I have already come up with.
Big Rich and I have always assumed that he is the saver and I am the spender. Of course I am the one that is responsible for 99.5% of the shopping duties and errand running in our home. It will be interesting to see how he handles not golfing as regularly or buying beer each grocery trip. Or when there is no junk food in the house.
Will I become the bad guy around here? Or will I freak out and go on a massive Target spending spree? Who will feel deprived first? What areas will we miss? What will we not even notice? Stay tuned.